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<h1 style="text-align: center;">Instructions To The Ladies So As To Not Suck In The Sack</h1> <img src="https://media.istockphoto.com/id/1407219945/vector/people-celebrate-indonesian-independence-day-by-participating-in-sack-race-competition-or.jpg?s=612x612&w=0&k=20&c=_sjA-W_aM6bR5rul7aqFh2gRAXt05Xi8dXcUmNoNe5M=" alt="" width="800" /> "Keep on dancing (Dancing Lady), got to give it up..." -Marvin Gaye Recently while taking care of other business online, I stumbled on a number of videos by self-appointed relationship "expert" Ms. Deborrah Cooper (talk about being the gift that keeps on giving -- whew!); the videos, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSumrEizkBc">which can be easily seen via YouTube</a>, addresses an oft-cited concern on the part of the ladies: Men, in this case Black, who suck in the sack. And to be fair, Ms. Cooper and the many other ladies (and not a few Men, I might add) do have a point -- after all, it has long been known and accepted that many a Man knows precious little about the sexuality or anatomy of Women and how best to play it for his own and her benefit. Fair enough. However, interestingly -- and to be frank, hardly unsurprisingly -- Ms. Cooper's videos are conspicuously absent when it comes to addressing another fact: that the Brothas hardly have the lock on sexual ignorance or competence. Quite a few ladies, in this case Sistas, don't know the first thing about throwin' down in the boudoir, either. Indeed, when you stop to think about it, one is hard-pressed to think up quick and easy references to books, articles and the like, where the issue of (Black) Women Sucking In The Sack is directly addressed, if at all; and the reason(s) why, should come as no surprise. For one thing, the "bar" for sexual success is much lower for the average to lower-average guy, than it is for his female counterpart; for most of these guys, they don't get laid often, so on the off-chance they do, they ain't likely to be ruminating over the finer points of her fellatio technique (more on this later, stay tuned). Indeed, depending on the context and the parties involved, quite a few guys are perfectly happy with Women being the proverbial "dead fish" -- so long as they have a pulse and are willing, many guys are happy as clams. Of course, the trick here is that for many of the ladies out there, such guys don't tend to be the kinds of guys they'd want to put out for -- which brings us to today's topic. And, secondarily, of course, the neverending narrative of "Gal=Right/Guy=Wrong", is alive in well in our national public discourse, where hybrid SIW/Damsels in Fake The Funk Distress like Cooper forges an unholy alliance with the Legions of White Knights and Uncle Tims of the world, both on a Jihad to set the Menfolk straight. Since ladies love hanging around guys in an effort to "draft" them into their Detective Agencies for free, (read “<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20150326064527/http://www.amazon.com/Billion-Wicked-Thoughts-Internet-Relationships/dp/0452297877">A Billion Wicked Thoughts</a>” to know precisely what I’m referring to) and since I have been said to be somewhat "mean" in that I've made it rather clear that I have little interest in providing "relationship advice" for the ladies, I thought today to be a bit generous, and do you all a solid -- I am going to give you the lowdown on how and why so many of you are NOT as hot-to-trot in the bedroom as you think. As always, there will be the usual Chorus of Naysayin' Sistas, and we will address them too before it's all said and done. Okay? OK. Let's roll... 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Being good in bed as a Woman means that you have to do more than lay back and spread 'em. The only exceptions to this general rule, is the following: (1) you come close to or exceed the overall hotness level of Ms. Kim K, or (2) you're willing to get with a guy who's about 2-3 points (or more) lower than you on the hotness scale. Now -- why am I saying this? Because...wait for it...Men have a built-in feature in their suite of psycho-sexual software that prompts them "switch up" their mating effort. This means, that yes, Men will do more for Women they perceive are Hawt (and, yes, invest less in mating effort in those Women who are not). This explains why Ray-J was as happy as a pig in mud with Kim K, even though she barely moved - take a good look at her. In the minds of more Brothas than a little bit, she is the epitome of Hawtness -- a White chick with a serious badunkadunk, an outright beautiful grill and a seemingly genetic predisposition for a taste of the Dark Meat. Obviously, most Sistas out there will never touch the hem of Ms. K's garment, so the next best thing is to get with a guy who is several points below you on the hotness scale, and you too will be able to simply show up, lay back, spread 'em, and enjoy the ride. But in the case of the rest of you who want a chance with a relatively hawt(er) guy, you're gonna have to get good in bed. That means... <h2>Understanding Male Sexual Psychology</h2> Learn a little something about how and why Male Sexuality works. See, while it's true that most guys don't know Jack about Women's Sexuality, it's also equally true that most Women don't know anything about Men either. For example: quick, name me the major parts of male genitalia, how they work and why? Here's another one: real quick, how much sperm can the average male produce over the course of a lifetime? Chances are you can't answer either of those questions, which also means that you won't be able to answer any other pointed questions either. Like the fact that the Male Orgasm is Variable -- most people, Men and Women alike, think that because a guy got hard, and got himself off that he's satisfied -- not necessarily. Every Man reading this knows what I'm talking about -- there are times when you bust a nut, and there are times when you BUST A NUT -- and the two distinguishing instances are largely dependant on the relative hawtness of the ladies involved. Nor is this something that is the sole preserve of human guys -- males across the animal world have been observed having much stronger orgasms/ejaculations when copulating with more desirable females, as opposed to those times when they copulated with lesser desirable females. Here again, (you) understanding how and why <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2022/10/24/how-women-really-feel-about-male-dominance/">male dominance and attraction work</a>, will be your friend: Men have built-in features in their sexual software that will allow them to markedly lower their standards when the potential talent in a given area is perceived to be lower than usual and as a result the circumstances call for it. For Men, getting laid, even if it's with a lower quality female, is better than not getting laid at all. Why? Because, for most Men, they can never know for sure, that they're going to get laid, that's why. DNA analysis down through human history bears out the fact that, while 80% of all Women who ever lived left genetic heirs, only half that number of Men were able to do so. In other words, only 40% of all Men who ever lived have genetic heirs today. This means that most Men (60% -- three times the number of Women who never mated!) NEVER had the chance to mate; and so, evolution worked in such a way to mold the male mating mind to be keen to any potential mating opportunities that might present itself. However, the trade-off is that when said guys bust a nut, it's usually not with the ferocity it may be if he got with Kim K. (And why, pray tell, is that? Because, hotties like Kim K. come along, at best, every once in awhile, if not once in a lifetime -- and even then, they tend to get snapped up by the Alpha Males in the round.) This also explains how and why guys are quick to get outta Dodge post-busted nut after having spent a bit of horizontal time with Ms. Buttaface Muffintop -- because he knows that he's lowered his mating standards considerably and his disgust at doing so is a psychological reminder of this. But for guys for whom getting laid isn't a problem -- guys who would be considered Alpha Males, for all intents -- well, they don't have to settle for whatever opportunities come their way. Indeed, more often than not, they actively resist or reject mating opportunities thrown at them by ladies -- don't take my word for it, observe this for yourself. They are used to getting laid, and with the better looking ladies at that. So these are guys who aren't at all phased by the prospect of "getting lucky" because for them, Luck Be A Lady all the time. Hence: <h2>Developing Your Intimate Skills</h2> Learn How To Suck It: Please don't let anyone tell you different ladies, what separates the contenders from the pretenders among you, is those who got mean Brain Game, and those whose fellatio skills(?) are more akin to shoving a two-by-four down a wood chipper. There's a powerful reason as to how and why Women giving great head and eagerly receiving the facial(s) that result is consistently among the most popular scenes in Porn. And no, it has nothing in the least to do with "misogyny" and the like -- leave your pseudo-political BS at the door, Men don't think like that. It has everything to do with activating sexual psychological cues in the Male brain that is highly attractive and satisfying -- like enthusiasm (which is a proxy for a Woman's sexual authenticity), (female) submission, and so forth. Trust, the reason why some Women get (and keep!) the guys they have, despite their not being the hottest-looking ladies around and their guys clearly being better looking relatively speaking, is due at least in large part to what I am saying here -- please do not fool yourself. Avail yourself of some vintage Vanessa Del Rio videos, observe closely, take notes copiously, practice, practice, practice, and watch your Head Game grow for real. Speaking of enthusiasm... <h2>Enthusiasm And Personal Effort Matter</h2> Yes, It's True -- Big(ger)/Old(er)/Dark(er) Girls Try Harder: Women who aren't "conventionally attractive" can still win, IF they have <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/11/02/how-to-dedicate-intimate-play-time-in-your-relationship/">mad enthusiasm in the sack</a> -- and that even goes for more mature gals like Grand Dame Cooper. You may think all that moaning and groaning those gals in the porn vids is over the top, but to guys its music to the ears. Gals who aren't deemed to be top-tier beauties in society intuitively understand this, and work like the proverbial She-Devil to put it on her guy. Don't take my word for it, see for yourself. Sasha Grey immediately comes to mind insofar as porn is concerned, and one reason why she's such a huge hit among a lot of (White) guys isn't because of her hawt looks -- far from it -- but because of her sheer enthusiasm. Another example, more pertinent to our discussion, is Jada Fire. The same can be said for the big(ger)/old(er) gals, and since we're talking about the Black community here, dark(er) gals, too. Again: leave your pseudo-political stuff at the door, we're talking about you upping your Boudoir Game -- and when it comes to that, you need to get real, and keep it totally 100. If you're NOT conventionally hawt (in Black America, this basically means everything opposite Kerri Washington), YES, you will need to put a hella more gusto into your bedroom ops with your guy (learn how to Drop It Like It's Hot, and that means on the 2 and 4 beat, because some of you Sistas be doing it like you Rain Man or something). It is, what it is. Get over it.... Betty Dodson: If you don't know who this Woman is, look her up. She will be a big help to you in a number of ways, most notably in terms of keeping things tight down there -- especially if you've had a kid or four. Unless you're into other kinds of play, guys for the most part aren't into ladies who have the kind of ample proportions down there that can rival the Grand Canyon -- they like it tight. And what's more, they like gals who have good Poon Control. If you can make your coochie "pop bottles" while conducting bedroom ops, you will have found a friend forever, trust me. Learn about the Wonderful World of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kegel_exercise">Kegel Exercises</a> and tighten that thing up. Also, the good doctor will be a big help in getting you more in touch with your body in a sexual sense - it's your responsibility, and yours alone, to know what you do and don't like sexually -- and if you don't know, chances are high your guy won't know either. Finally, ladies, good housekeeping down there will make it far more likely to entice a guy to <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/06/08/affection-is-to-women-what-sex-is-to-men/">go downtown, if you get my drift</a>. Some of you have the kind of funk between the thighmeats that kicks the pants off Bruce Lee's Chinese Connection at twenty paces . Now that we got Obamacare on the scene, I for one have no problem in the least in paying a few sheckles more to ensure that the Fairer Sex's naughty bits are in good working order, -- and something tells me that most guys wouldn't either. After all, that's change we can really believe in. Take personal responsibility for once in your life, find out what gets you off and then share that with the Right Guy. Capice? Sistas Who Say "I Don't Do That" Have Only Themselves To Blame As For Why Their Love Lives Suck: One of the biggest reasons why homeboy didn't call you back after that night together was because, well, you suck in bed. Your lack of enthusiasm, your utter ignorance of the Male Sexual Mind and how/why it works, your visceral, palpable disgust at doing the things most Men find a serious turn-on, to say nothing of you're being woefully uncoordinated physically (see aforementioned admonition to learn how to Drop It in time to the beat) accounts for how and why you, Sista of a Certain Class, have "love lives" that are so bad that you have taken to rationalizing how "living your best single life" is somehow the ticket. Trust me when I tell you, you are fooling no one but yourself(?), and your lack of getting any is so bleedingly obvious that it would be laughable if it weren't so very pathetic. Look, if you've been dating a desirable guy for a bit and now's the time to get busy and he wants to start things off by entering you from behind, you saying "I don't do that" will not only result in an instant case of Boner Killer, it will also likely result in him vacating the premises without so much as a mumbling word -- remember, we're talking about guys who aren't hard up for a piece of Woman here -- right? Chances are he'll simply rollout, hit up his rolodex enroute from your place, and another lady (possibly White, or a Ratchet, or both) will soon eagerly assume the three-point stance for his pleasure -- you big dummy. If you've got hangups about sex, then you shouldn't be trying to have it in the first place -- get therapy and spare us all the violins and whatnot. There's more that I could go into, but think the above short list is a good starting point for many of you ladies to run with. So, you can no longer say that the O-Man ain't never give you nothing. <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/gUuAlvrbtBo?si=u_6jdN4gPsaTeW5y" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe>